July182011
A Letter to my Roly Poly
My sweet, sweet Annie Carlyle,
It’s been one year, two months and six days since I first found out you were going to be a part of my life. Thomas treated me to a Norah Jones concert (dreamy!), and when we left, I checked my phone only to find a picture message from your Mom of a pregnancy test with one solid line and one faint line. ”TAKE ANOTHER ONE!” was my immediate response. I was over the moon already. We all knew that a baby was going to be in the near future, but it just happened so fast!
Since then, life has been a little (a lot!) brighter, family visits more exciting, and my unlimited text message plan has been getting lots of use! I get pictures of you from your Mom and Nanny almost every day. If a day goes by without one, I have to remind them - I need to see my girl! You are only a couple hours away, but it feels so far when I’m missing so many of your big moments. I was so lucky to get to see you start crawling during my last visit for your Christening. You did wonderfully in church, and it took all my efforts not to just whisk you away from your parents so I could have more time with you.
As you were growing in your Momma’s belly, I kept up with your progress with weekly update emails on what size you were, how Momma might be feeling, and what to expect coming up. It was nothing short of fascinating. Your Mom & Dad even let me come to the ultrasound appointment where we found out they were having a GIRL! (Ahem, I was right.) I made one or two false-alarm trips to Summerton when we thought you were coming, but you decided to hang out in your cozy space for a little longer. I headed back to Charlotte one Sunday afternoon, only to turn around that Tuesday and spend the next 24 hours in the hospital awaiting your arrival.
We stayed through the night, and your darling Momma let me stay in the room for your delivery. It was single-handedly the most amazing experience of my life. After I got through the initial “it’s so hot in here, I just need to sit for a second” phase of almost passing out, the party got started real fast. I had been so intrigued by the whole process that my emotions had sort of taken a backseat for the time. But once you actually arrived, I was gripping your Mom’s arm, sobbing tears of happiness. I couldn’t put words to the emotions I was feeling if I tried. It was overwhelming. I wanted to drink in the sight of you; I wanted to be there for your Mom - my other half; I wanted to take enough pictures. It all happened so quickly!
I stayed in town until that Sunday. That afternoon, as I was trying to emotionally prepare myself to leave you, I struggled. It got to the point where I really did need to get on the road. Mom, Bridget and her girls, and a few other people were around, all hanging out in the nursery. I gave you lots of love, and Annelise started to tear up. I had to leave right then. I cried while hugging Mom, and quickly made my exit. I sat in my car and sobbed. There was so much on my mind, in my heart, that I couldn’t express it any other way than to just cry and cry. I was going to miss you more than I could ever say. Of course I would visit as often as possible, and your Mom would bring you to come see me too. But it obviously wouldn’t be the same. I wanted to breathe you in and kiss your forehead and squeeze your little legs and snuggle with you. I didn’t even care about your dirty diapers!
I know they say that you will never understand the love of a mother until you become one. I feel like that’s also true of the love between an aunt and her niece or nephew. When you were born, my heart felt like it was overflowing, as if there just simply wasn’t enough room in my body to contain my love for you.
You have been such a light in my life, and you’ve turned my parents (Nanny & PopPop!) into entirely new people. Even your own Momma has changed - she’s so much nicer now!! Our whole family thanks you for that. :)
Your brave and adventurous personality is really starting to show these days. You aren’t afraid of anything, and you are bound and determined to explore as much as you can, as fast as you can. A girl on a mission! Watching you grow these last (almost) six months has been nothing short of astounding. Knowing that we have so many more wonderful and fun moments to celebrate as we watch you grow into a strong, intelligent and beautiful woman is the biggest blessing I’ve ever received.
I thank God for you every day, that you have blessed my life and our family with so much joy. You are my sweet little Roly Poly, and you’ll have my heart forever and ever.
